This is me, who I am, who I'm meant to be

For those of you wondering what exactly I am doing in New Orleans, let me explain.

    First of all, my name is Jessica Amarillo. I am a proud Alumni of Lane Tech College Prep in Chicago, IL. On August 17th, I, along with about 24 others proclaimed, "Here I am Lord to do your will" as we took a leap of faith to serve others as the Salesian Domestic Volunteers and Salesian Lay Missionaries of Don Bosco.
    I live as a missionary in a community with four sisters in Louisiana.  This year I will be assistant teaching in a Kindergarten class at Our Lady Of Prompt Succor as well as helping at St. Rosalie's Salesian Youth Center and Parish.

    I heard time and time again

  Jess, what are you doing? What about school? What about your family and friends? Don't do this.

    I simply smiled back and told them that this is what I am meant to do. I know deep down in my heart that I am meant to help anywhere I am needed. Right now though, God needs me in New Orleans.
     At first, I was skeptical about deferring school for a year, but many of my new friends who are on this journey reassured me that I am mature beyond my years and that this was an experience that I could take with me, regardless, throughout my life and reflect on it in the future.
    As for my family and friends back home, I don't feel I abandoned them, even though some like to think so.  I like to see it as giving us all room to grow. Grow in our relationships, faith, but mostly, to grow as individuals. In order to succeed, make a change, or grow, one has to come to the realization that it all starts with ONE. One idea, one spark, one move, one you. I was sitting in mass at St. Louis Cathedral here in Nola this past June with the Gospel Roads group and I couldn't help but thank God for all that he has blessed me with. I kept praying that He would give me that extra courage to leave my family back in Chicago, and start a new chapter in my life. The mass progressed, the first reading, then the responsorial psalm, and next, the second reading began.

" We are always courageous,

although we know that while we are

 at home in the body

we are away from the Lord,

for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Yet we are courageous,

and we would rather leave the body and go home to the Lord.

Therefore, we aspire to please him,

whether we are at home or away.

For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ,

so that each may receive recompense, 

according to what he did in the body, whether good or evil."

-2 Corinthians 5:6-10

 I felt a sense of tranquility come over me and I knew then that God was going to give me the courage I needed, not all at once though. It's like a mother who doesn't let her child have all of the chocolate cake at once, but in moderation, serves her kid just enough to get them by. No matter how much I want it all now, I know I'll get it when I deserve it and need it. Mass continued as usual, we sang Alleluia, and then, a reading from the Gospel according to Mark. 

Jesus said to the crowds:

"This is how it is with the kingdom of God;

it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land

and would sleep and rise night and day

and through it all the seed would sprout and grow,

he knows not how.

Of its own accord the land yields fruit,

first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear.

And when the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once,

for the harvest has come."

He said,

"To what shall we compare the kingdom of God,

or what parable can we use for it?

It is like a mustard seed that, when it is sown in the ground,

is the smallest of all the seeds on the earth.

But once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants

and puts forth large branches,

so that the birds of the sky can dwell in its shade."

With many such parables

he spoke the word to them as they were able to understand it.

Without parables he did not speak to them, 

but to his own disciples he explained everything in private.

I had heard the story about the mustard seed before, but I never took much from it until that day in the Homily when the visiting bishop said, "...You've planted your seed, but you can't make it grow...now let go and let God".  From that moment on, I had faith in God that he would allow me to continue on my journey in peace. Knowing I've planted that seed with my family and friends was just the first step in allowing us all to grow. By taking this leap of faith and joining the SDV's, I've let go and let God, completely this time, because I know I can't make it grow. 

   For now though, I love being a witness of God's love and I am blessed to be able to do this year of service. The Salesians have been an amazing part of my life these past 2 years and I am grateful to be part of this family.

So this is me, who I am, who I'm meant to be, but most importantly, who God wants me to be.
And for those of you who are wondering... Yes. My future, starts now.

MHC Pray for us
SJB Pray for us
   

Note to self...

  A few months ago, I wrote myself a note and tucked it away into an envelope where I wrote DO NOT TOUCH TIL AUGUST 26TH. Little did I know, this would be the night I closed the gate behind me at the convent at Our Lady of Prompt Succor in Westwego, LA, with my parents waving goodbye on the other side.

"Dear Jessica, 
   Sometimes it's going to get tough, but remember, God is there for you. Cheering you on, right there with you. Feel like crying? Go for it. Just remember, you're not alone, not even a little. It's just a long way home. Remember, you're not HOME yet, so don't get too comfortable. You're gonna make it."

   I guess I was right all those months ago when I first wrote myself that little note. I'm not alone at all. The Salesian Family has taken me under their wings in so many ways (and it's only been a few days!). It's so amazing to know that there are so many loving people out there, especially though, that there are so many right here in New Orleans who have my back.
  So here's to my journey as a Salesian Domestic Volunteer this year and to all the SDV's and SLM's out there getting ready for their missionary years away from home. I don't know about "y'all", as they say it down here, but my future, starts now.

MHC Pray for us
SJB Pray for us